A DEBATING ABOUT KHADIJAH (A)
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A: Yes, we have heard it too. But now there are some girls that cannot prepare any dowry to go to their husband's home. Or there are some female workers who work very hard and don't have any guardian. So, what is the meaning of Fatima (A) being a pattern?
P: Let's first speak about the definition for “Pattern”. If there is a lady in a poor family with a disabled and workless husband, she has to work very hard. It is a normal thing. It isn't a pattern because; she cannot do anything except it.
B: What do you mean normal people cannot be a pattern?
P: When a poor person without any social position lives ascetically, it isn’t a pattern.
People with high social positions can be pattern.
B: Will you please explain it more.
P: For example, we have more than thousands of footballers in Iran. Which one of them can be a pattern for the youths? Maybe about ten of them who are in famous or national teams? Why? Because they have social position.
Now, if a lady who is a prophet‘s daughter who is the head of government, her husband is the second person in the government and the commander of all battles, she has three children to bring up, her hands are blistered because of hand mill, is not such a lady a pattern? So, Fatima (A) has the highest social position in her time, meanwhile, she lives devoutly and doesn’t ask her husband anything and…
B: We didn't consider social position for a pattern.
P: The poor lady in your example can be a pattern too. But for a special group.
B: Yes, you are right. Being a pattern is what you said.
P: It means if you are a governor, you shouldn't ask more than other people.
B: It was a pattern for devoutness. what about a pattern for fellow spouse?
P. It is exactly for fellow spouse pattern. Please consider the children of some of the people in government. Most authorities who are corrupted is because of their families. They wanted more than others. Here we are talking about contentment and being pleased with the general share. It is wanting “Halal” from “Baitol mal”
and not wanting “Haram”.
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B: I didn't consider it in this way.
P: Look at sura “Hal Ata”. You are fast for three days. Then you prefer a hungry person to yourself. Because you think he has no one else to help him. Or not asking anything from your husband during nine years living with him. Not only you don't blame your husband but also you love him more and more. You divide house work with your servant, so that she'll be able to know the holy Quran by heart and interpret it.
B: You are right.
P: Let this sentence remain in history as long as this book is read. How many people in the Islamic Republic of Iran authorities do you know that their neighbors or relatives say they live like normal people? Not to say like Zahra (A) and Ali’s (A) life?
Except; in the first years of revolution or the war period?
I know nobody except our leader who has been the same from the time that he has been a president.
B: Don’t you really know anyone else?
P: I don't know anyone else who regards it as much as the leader's family. But some managers and some clergy men who are not in high positions may be like that. But they are not patterns; because they are normal people.
B: We got far away from Hazret Khadija (A)!
A: No, we didn't. We are talking about her daughter.
P: Hazrat Khadija (A) is a great pattern with her social position. Her life style can be a complete and full pattern of fellow spouse for families today.
B: Talk about some examples about her too, please.
P: Khadija (A) believed in her husband and loved him deeply. This love was not only for some days or months in the beginning of their life. The more the time passed, the more they loved each other.
Khadija (A) made home a peaceful place for her husband; She used whatever techniques to obtain this aim.
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Not only she bestowed all her wealth to the prophet (S), but also her love, peace and all her soul and body was offered to the prophet (S) without any obligation.
B. You are speaking generally.
P: Wait a moment. But these are very important points.
B: You did not show any documents for these.
P: It is my conclusion from all my studies.
B: Let's continue.
A: I think it is better for the professor to go on about these cases which are not very general. Then we’ll speak about smaller examples.
P: Of course, what I say from my studies are all patterns.
A: Yes, they are really important.
B: We agree. Please go on.
P: She was away from any suspicion which harms a peaceful life. She believed and relied on her husband completely.
for example, it was not very long after her marriage, that her husband left home and went to Hara cave to pray. She never complained in this period. She always prepared food and water and took them to Hara cave or send Ali (A) to take them there.
After Bi’thah, all kinds of jealousy, oppositions and harassment started from the side of pagans and unbelievers; But Khadija (A) turned around the candle of his life like a butterfly and took care of him. She consolated him and released his grief.233
Once the prophet (S) came home, hiding his face by his hands. Khadija (A) ran to him and put his hands aside.
Suddenly she saw the sign of a hit on his cheek. He began to cry. Khadija (A) asked him: “Why are you crying?” He answered: “I cry because these people go astray.”
233 Tarikh Tabari, vol.3, p.843
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Hazrat Khadija (A) was standing at the door sadly, she saw Hamza (A) coming back from hunting. She told Hamza: “You go hunting lions234, while people hit on your nephew's cheek and nobody supports him.”
As soon as Hamza (A) heard it, he got angry and said: “I'll never be calm until I revenge. He came in front of Kaba and said loudly: “O people of Mecca! know that I am a Muslim and I am in my nephew's religion. If anybody hurts him, he will enter in the quarrel with me.”
The prophet (S) narrates: 235 »بمثل اوذیت ما ننی اوذی ما«
“None of the prophets were hurted as I was.”
All of these tortures were at the time of Khadija (A); but she was a peaceful and honest partner for the prophet's (S) body and soul at that hard time.
234 Hazrat Hamza went hunting lions, so he was titled as lion hunter.
235 Behar al Anvar, vol.39, p.56
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Politeness
A: Please give some examples for being a pattern.
P: Khadija (A) had deep religious thoughts, and she was from a great family and had a good social position, so she was very polite in speaking and she respected people.
Before Islam, she behaved very politely towards merchants, agents and her neighbors. All of the historians agree that she was never impolite to anybody.
She highly respected the prophet (S) all along her life with him because she was aware of his great duty.
At the time of her death, while the prophet (S) was sitting beside her, she told him:
“I failed to do my duty for you, please forgive me.”
The prophet (S) answered her: “I didn't see any short coming from you, you tried hard and got tired in my home.”236
She even behaved politely towards her enemies who tormented her many years.
Quran has blamed Ome Jamil and her husband237. She was her neighbor and always tormented Khadija (A) and the prophet (S) and blew them with words. But Khadija (A) was never impolite towards her.
Respecting Spouse
B: Was she the same as her husband?
P: Yes, this part is about respecting the prophethood. Although she was very wealthy and she had a high social position, she always regarded herself as a maid woman and thanked God that has honored her to be the prophet's (S) wife.
She always was respectful to the prophet (S) and never showed any action of superiority towards him.
236 Shajare Tooba, vol.2, p.235
237 Sura Masad
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A very great show of honours is in their marriage ceremony. When the ceremony ended, the prophet (S) wanted to go back to his uncle’s house, but the great lady in Ghoraish who was now his wife, told him:
“Come to your own home, my home is your home, and I am your maid woman.”
Khadija (A) was alone when the prophet (S) went for praying for forty days. Such long prayings could have been very harmful for a new married woman, but she never protested it and always helped him.
Perception the Spouse
B: Did she perceive her husband?
P. Yes, completely. The prophet (S) and Khadija (A) completely perceived each other while living together. This correct perception caused them to easily confront the social difficulties, and clear or secret appositions. They helped eachother to do their divine and social duties and they were good supporters for each other.
wealth for Islam
B: This lady perceived her husband so much that she spent all her wealth for her husband's wishes?
P: Her husband's and her own wishes. She even bestowed her wealth on the prophet (S) before "Bi’thah” so that he would spend it as he thought to be advisable.
Allame Majlesi narrates:
“Khadija (A) went to her uncle's house, Waraqah Bin Noofel, after Bi’thah and a few days after her marriage, she told him: “Take my wealth to the prophet (S) and tell him this is Khadija's wealth bestowed on you. Please use it in any way that you want and bestow on him all of my slaves and maids and property.”
238 Behar al-Anvar, vol.16, p.4; Alkharaej, p.186
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Waraqah Bin Noofel came beside Kaba and stood between ZamZam and Magham Ibrahim and said loudly: “O Arab people! Khadija (A) calls you to witness that she bestows herself and all her wealth including slaves and maids, properties, domesticated animals, her marriage portion and all her gifts on Mohammad (S).
Mohammad has accepted it. She has done it because of her love to Mohammad (S). She calls you to witness it and please you be a witness.”239
The prophet used all her wealth to spread Islam and to take care of Muslims. He never used it for his personal affairs.
B: We had heard before that Khadija's (A) wealth was used to promote Islam.
P: All historians and Islamic scholars acknowledge that Khadija’s (A) wealth had a great function in spreading Islam.
Khadija's wealth had a basic role in saving the lives of Muslims when they were in economic blockade in Abi Talib She’b.
Khadija (A) was in the She’b with her daughter, Fatima (A), She ordered her relatives in Mecca to prepare food and other needs for Muslims and send them to the She’b, out of the sight of pagans and polytheists.
Hakim Bin Hazam, Khadija’s nephew, bought bread and dates. He loaded them on the camels and send them to She’b for Muslims at night.
Allame Majlesi narrates, at the time of Abi Talib she’b blockade:
240 » امهه ماله میع ج ةS دیج خ و ٍب بوطاله ا ق ف نا «
“Abu Talib and Khadija gave all of their property to save Islam.”
A: It was known from olden times that Islam was saved and spread in the world by three things: The prophet's (S) good morals, Ali's sword and Khadija's (A) property.
P: The holy prophet (S) always mentioned the role of Khadija's (A) wealth in
“No wealth was as useful for me as Khadija's wealth.”
239 Behar al-anvar, vol.16, p.75-77
240 Behar al-Anvar, vol.19, p.16
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نی یَّدتHe says somewhere else: 242 »...«ا بهمالهها یهه ل ع نی ت اهعان و للاه دینِ ل ع
“Khadija (A) helped me in Allah's religion and she helped me with her wealth.”
Soleiman Katani writes: “Khadija (A) bestowed her wealth on Mahammad, but she didn't feel that she is giving something, she thought that she gets guidance which is better than all of the world's treasure from him.”243
Consoling the Spouse
B: It is said the most tormenting for the prophet (S) was at the beginning of his public prophecy. Khadija (A) was the only supporter for him?
P: Yes, when the verse 244» «ف ش المُ ع أ و رُ تُؤم ع اصد “Therefore declare ِکی نِ عرِض بهما openly what you are bidden and turn aside from the polytheist.” was revealed245, the holy prophet (S) was ordered to declare his message openly. So he stood on “Abtah” and said: “I am Allah's prophet for you. I invite you to worship Allah, to abandon the idols which have no profit or loss, they don't create, they give no sustenance, they don't make alive or dead.”
The polytheist mocked him and laughed at him.246
Then he assembled the children of Abde Manaf in Marve and invited them to monotheism. Abu Lahab said: ؟» تنا ع م ج ذا لهه ا ! ک ل بًّا «ت “Perdition overtakes you. Did you assemble us for this request?”
Here was when the verse 247» ب َّ«ت ت و ه ل ا دا ی بَّت “Perdition overtakes both hands بٍ نی of the Abu Lahab, and he will perish” was revealed.248
B: The man whose wife was Ome Jamil?
242 Janat al-Asema, p.232
244 Sura Hejr, Verse 94
245 Tafsir al-Ghommi, vol.1, p.377
246 Tarikh Yaghoobi, vol.2, p.24
247 Sura Masad, Verse1
248 Hoda al-Forghan fi Oloome Quran, vol.2, p.41
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P: Yes, Ali (A) who was 15 at that time,249 quarreled with those who cursed the prophet (S); But Abu Talib advised him to be patient.250
A: It comforts the husband when the wife assists.
P: Yes, it does. God changed the pagan’s bad words and denying to consolation by Khadija (A). When he entered home, she showed their incompatibility and obstructionism not important. She made him glad and firm by comforting him.251
Once when there was revelation, the prophet (S) got restless. pagans took him to Khadija (A) and said: “Have you married a mad man?” Khadija (A) took the prophet (S) to her chest, kissed his two eyes and said: “I have married a divine prophet.”252
B: what a great wife!
Generosity
P: She was also a pattern in generosity.
A: Usually, women are not famous in generosity.
P: Khadija (A) was known as the most famous generous woman in her own time:
• Before Islam, her house was a shelter for poor and needy people. It was a place for those who didn't have money to return their homes.253 • She paid attention to her relatives and helped them when necessary.
• She invited some trades men, who didn’t have enough capital to trade and gave them some of her capital to trade.
Let’s speak about some examples:
Zeid was a young man from Kalb tribe who was taken captive by brigands. Hakim Bin Hazam, Khadija’s (A) nephew, bought him from Akaz bazaar and presented him to Khadija (A). Mohammad (S) liked Zeid very much. Khadija (A) bestowed Zeid to
249 Masoodi and Sheikh Mofid say some people try to show Ali’s age very low to say that his Islam was the Islam of a little baby and invalid. (Atanbih va al-Eshraf, p.198&257; Alfosool al Mokhtara, p.254)
250 Iman Abi Talib, p.276
251 Asirat al Nabavia, vol.1, p.240
252 Helyat al-Abrar, vol.1, p.67
253 Aalam al-Nesa, vol.1, p.326
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Mahammad (S), when she saw his attachment to Zeid. Mohammad (S) released Zeid and took him by himself. And from then he was his adopted son.
Once the prophet (S) was sitting by Khadija (A) and they were talking. They were informed that Halime Bint Abdolah Sadie had come to their house. The prophet (S)
got very happy as soon as he heard it.
Khadija (A) welcomed Halime and she entered their home. When the prophet (S)
saw Halime, he said: “My mother! My mother! My mother!” He spread his robe under her feet and kneeled in front of her and talked to her as if his mother Amene Bint Vahab had come to see her son.
The prophet (S) asked Halime about the conditions of her tribe. She answered: “It is very hard and there is a hard drought and the desert is dry.”
The prophet (S) told Khadija (A) about it. Khadija (A) gave Halime forty camels and sheep. She returned to her tribe very happily.
Halime and her husband came to Mecca and admitted Islam.254
Sobie, Abu Lahab’s maid, was the first woman who breast fed Mohammad (S) after his mother Amene. The prophet (S) liked her and respected her.
Khadija (A) asked Abu Lahab to sell Sobie to her to release her. But Abu Lahab didn’t agree. Khadija (A) paid attention to Sobie and was generous to her to make the prophet (S) happy.255
Patience
B: But she had a hard life because she was tormented very much while she was a great lady.
P: Completely right. 25 years joint life was the most difficult time for prophet (S)
and Khadija (A).
• The first years of their joint life was for Mohammad (S) to get ready for Bi’thah.
254 Nesa Ahle Bait fi Zooe Quran va Hadith,p.32 255 Khadija (A) Omol Momenin, p.59